Candidate Walks Into a Job Interview...
HR REP: Welcome back. Please, have a seat.
CANDIDATE: Don’t mind if I do.
HR REP: Well, your resume and references are just---impeccable.
CANDIDATE: Thank you.
HR REP: Education, experience; you’ve got quite a story to tell here.
CANDIDATE: You’re very kind.
HR REP: But---may I be frank with you?
CANDIDATE: You can be anyone you’d like.
HR REP: It’s just, you seem far over-qualified for this job. I mean, it's a substantial cut in pay.
CANDIDATE: Yes.
HR REP: And the responsibilities---far fewer than your last position.
CANDIDATE: True.
HR REP: You’d have minimal staff and a pretty meager budget.
CANDIDATE: As we’ve discussed.
HR REP: So, I’m curious. Person of your background--why are you interested in this job?
CANDIDATE: Numbers.
HR REP: Numbers?
CANDIDATE: Yes. See, I’m 42, I’ve got 20 years of experience. My 401-k went DOA in 2008. I made my career “number one” in my life, so I never had time to settle down with anyone special. Yet I was among the first to be laid off when the crush was on.
HR REP: I see.
CANDIDATE: It’s okay, mind you. I get it. Times are hard; nothing personal.
HR REP: That’s a very healthy attitude.
CANDIDATE: No. Here comes the healthy attitude: This company? You make a product I actually use and believe in. This job? I can do it in my sleep; we both know it. This office? Seven minutes from my apartment, in any weather. Which means I might actually have time for a social life. And as far as the staff and the money go, I had both before and where did it get me? See, I just want to work. So I did the math, and I think this adds up to a really good match--for both of us.
HR REP: Well, you know what---you’re just the kind of person we’re looking for.
CANDIDATE: Excellent.
HR REP: We just have twenty-seven other candidates to interview. Like you say, numbers. Never know, the next one might be even better.
CANDIDATE: Oh. That’s very disappointing.
HR REP: What can I say, it’s kind of a buyer’s market right now. But someone will be in touch soon.
CANDIDATE: Really?
HR REP: Probably.
CANDIDATE: Well, are you at least able to validate me?
HR REP: Absolutely. You’re an excellent candidate.
CANDIDATE: No, I mean my parking ticket.
HR REP: Oh. We don’t do that anymore. Sorry,
CANDIDATE: I get it. Nothing personal.
