Candidate Walks Into a Job Interview...


HR REP: Welcome back. Please, have a seat.

CANDIDATE: Don’t mind if I do.

HR REP: Well, your resume and references are just---impeccable.

CANDIDATE: Thank you.

HR REP: Education, experience; you’ve got quite a story to tell here.

CANDIDATE: You’re very kind.

HR REP: But---may I be frank with you?

CANDIDATE: You can be anyone you’d like.

HR REP: It’s just, you seem far over-qualified for this job. I mean, it's a substantial cut in pay.

CANDIDATE: Yes.

HR REP: And the responsibilities---far fewer than your last position.

CANDIDATE: True.

HR REP: You’d have minimal staff and a pretty meager budget.

CANDIDATE: As we’ve discussed.

HR REP: So, I’m curious. Person of your background--why are you interested in this job?

CANDIDATE: Numbers.

HR REP: Numbers?

CANDIDATE: Yes. See, I’m 42, I’ve got 20 years of experience. My 401-k went DOA in 2008. I made my career “number one” in my life, so I never had time to settle down with anyone special. Yet I was among the first to be laid off when the crush was on.

HR REP: I see.

CANDIDATE: It’s okay, mind you. I get it. Times are hard; nothing personal.

HR REP: That’s a very healthy attitude.

CANDIDATE: No. Here comes the healthy attitude: This company? You make a product I actually use and believe in. This job? I can do it in my sleep; we both know it. This office? Seven minutes from my apartment, in any weather. Which means I might actually have time for a social life. And as far as the staff and the money go, I had both before and where did it get me? See, I just want to work. So I did the math, and I think this adds up to a really good match--for both of us.

HR REP: Well, you know what---you’re just the kind of person we’re looking for.

CANDIDATE: Excellent.

HR REP: We just have twenty-seven other candidates to interview. Like you say, numbers. Never know, the next one might be even better.

CANDIDATE: Oh. That’s very disappointing.

HR REP: What can I say, it’s kind of a buyer’s market right now. But someone will be in touch soon.

CANDIDATE: Really?

HR REP: Probably.

CANDIDATE: Well, are you at least able to validate me?

HR REP: Absolutely. You’re an excellent candidate.

CANDIDATE: No, I mean my parking ticket.

HR REP: Oh. We don’t do that anymore. Sorry,

CANDIDATE: I get it. Nothing personal.

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